The PF Women Team at our Annual Team Retreat ~ 2018 Today on Seth Godin's blog, he said: It's tempting to decide to make a profit first, then invest in training, people, facilities, promotion, customer service and most of all, doing important work. In general, though, it goes the other way. Yes, it does. If you are waiting to make a profit before you do these things, in my experience you're not going to make a profit. So many organizations, ministries and churches are struggling with financial issues. I know your pain. As anyone who follows our story knows, our ministry was in a ton of debt four years ago when I came on as director. Since that time, we've gotten out of debt and turned a profit every year. God has done amazing things through out team, for which we give Him the glory! I find that what Seth is saying here is absolutely true, with one disclaimer. For Christian leaders, spiritual disciplines must always be first. Before we started i...
Dear Deanna:
I am having problems with a friend who invites me to do
things with her and then after I have already agreed, invites someone else to
join us. This may not appear to be any big deal, however my discomfort with the
situation is that she often asks people I’m not particularly fond of and don’t
want to spend an evening or an activity with…people like my ex-sister-in-law.
Yes, AWKWARD!!! Once I’ve agreed to
attend, I don’t like to back out just because she invites someone to join us
that I’m not comfortable with. But I’m really tired of dreading these times
together. What do I do? I don’t want to lose my friend but I also don’t want to
keep dreading her events and invitations.
Signed,
Dreading
Dear Dreading:
I understand. This has happened to me. One thing I’ve come
to believe is that if a friend changes something we initially agreed upon, the
initial agreement is no longer in play. When I RSVP to a friend’s invitation, I
do so on the condition that it regards specifically what she asked me about --
not something else I’m unaware of. If she changes major details there may not
be an obligation to follow through as I have not agreed to the new terms. For
instance, if a friend invites you to go to the movies and you say yes but later
says, “by the way, we’re not going to to the movies…we’re going water skiing…”
would you feel obligated to follow through? Probably not. You didn’t agree to
water skiing and it is perfectly reasonable to decline. In your case, you did
not agree to spend an entire evening with your ex-sister in law.
I am very careful about accepting invitations. If a friend
has been known to do what your friend is doing, I become reluctant to say yes
to invites. They usually notice that and
ask me, “well…are you going to join me…or not?” and I’ll say, “Hmmmmm…not sure
yet. It depends on who’s attending. Will
it just be us?” If she says yes then I take the opportunity to say, “Great. As
long as it will just be us, I’m in.” If she asks me why I’ve made this
clarification, I would let her know that
while I’m looking forward to spending time with her, I appreciate the
opportunity to know who and what is involved before I make a decision. This
usually solves the problem. I hope it works for you and you can enjoy, rather
than dread, upcoming times together.
E--Mail your questions
for future columns to deannashrodes@gmail.com. Due to space and time every
question will not appear in the monthly column, however Deanna welcomes you to
interact with her where she blogs daily at
www.deannashrodes.net.
Deanna is an author,
speaker and certified coach who loves living in the Tampa Bay area with her
husband of 25 years and their three children.
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