Two words of knowledge and one husband later...

If you are a single believer who desires marriage, one of the most important things to look for is someone who is sensitive to the things of God.    I wish every unmarried believer who is seeking would realize the importance of finding someone who belongs to Jesus wholeheartedly, who listens to His voice, who finds their sustenance in Him.  

We pastored one young man who had a wish list of attributes that he wanted his future wife to have.  The list included that she love to ski, be an avid rollercoaster fan, and have at least a size "C" bra size.  Somehow being a woman of prayer didn't make the list among the amusement parks and  tata's.  Believe me it takes more than that to get you through the storms of life.   Proverbs 31 says that charm is deceptive, beauty fades away but a woman who fears the Lord is greatly to be praised.

I got to thinking about this on our anniversary yesterday and something came to my mind that I have rarely if ever shared with anyone but I got a nudge today from the Holy Spirit to write about it here.

Prayer has always been a priority for me and in a time of intercession God shows me things through the word of knowledge, wisdom and prophecy.  It's always been that way for me since I've been a Christian although it's much more developed now.

When I first met my husband I knew on the first real "date" we had that I was going to marry him.  (That's a photo of us back then, by the way.  I thought I'd  include it here just for fun.)  The Lord told me before I ever loved him, before we ever kissed, held hands or anything that he was going to be my husband.  I never told him that until AFTER we were married, by the way.  (A word to the wise -- don't ever tell anyone that God told you to marry them, at least until you are already married.  That usually  freaks people out.  It would scare me if I was single, and I say that as someone who totally flows in the prophetic.)  Anyway...take a look at this boy and you can see why I wanted to marry him...I'm telling you, he is the jelly on my biscuit and the gravy on my mashed potatoes!  Whew!  (lol)

Seriously [ahem] as I was praying for my husband one day when he was just my "friend" not really my "boyfriend",  just a boy who happened to be a friend...and the Holy Spirit told me a few key pieces of information.  He told me his middle name.  Now, my husband had never told ANYBODY his middle name.  It's pretty much a secret because he hates his middle name.  Only a few people in this world know it and at that point in college no one on campus knew except for maybe the registrars office.  But as I was praying, out of the blue God just dropped his name into my heart.  I didn't even realize that Larry had any issues with his middle name -- nor did I ask God about it, He just gave it to me in prayer. 

I had also not ever been in my husband's bedroom.  We were unmarried, not to mention at a bible school where if I had been in his bedroom I would have been in real trouble and probably expelled or at the least suspended!  But the Lord also showed me the entire set up of his bedroom and the color.  Now, it wasn't just something "normal" like blue or red, but the color, the exact color the Lord told me was, "rust."  God told me the bedspread is rust, the curtains are rust, the bed is in this location in the room, the dresser is positioned here, etc.  I must say at that time and even since that time I don't think I've come across any "rust" furnishings.  [Okay I know I'm losing some of you here on the blog today -- you didn't realize I was this much of a charismatic fruitloop.  Sorry to disappoint you.  Don't worry I'm not going to start selling prayer cloths for $39.99 or ask you to send your seed money to keep the blog going.    Let's just call this "Charisma Day" and tomorrow I'll be back to talking about pizza recipes and Max and Maddie... deal?]

So one day shortly after Larry and I met we were talking about the things of God and we got onto the subject of prayer, and how God speaks and all that.   While I didn't tell him I knew I was going to marry him, I did let him know that I knew what his room looked like.  He was puzzled and said, "how?  You've never been in my room..." and I said, "Yes I know but you have a rust bedspread and curtains and the room is set up exactly this way..."    He almost fell off his chair he was so shocked.  Then I said, "yes, and your middle name is  _______________."  (Did you really think I was going to print the name here??!  LOL)  Again, he almost fell off his chair in shock.   He said, "nobody knows my middle name."  I said, "don't worry  your secret is safe with me."  I told him that these were just things that the spirit brought to my mind for whatever reason as I was praying.

My husband knew just from that early conversation that I was a person of prayer and I strongly believe not only in talking to God but waiting until He talks back.  Some of you reading this might wonder why God would tell me something so simple as his bedroom colors or his middle name, and find it really strange but I think in our case it would simply be so that my husband would know he was getting involved with a girl who hears from God on things large and small and prioritizes that above everything.

If you ar a single guy or girl please note it will take you a lot more than a man or woman's hot body to get you through the seasons of life!  I'm not saying you should go out and marry someone you are unattracted to but here is the truth - it will take MORE THAN THAT to get you through.  In fact it will take more than you could ever imagine.

I have talked to my children often about their future mate and stressed the importance of finding someone who holds most important the values of prayer, holiness, and serving Jesus and others with all their heart.  Some don't think about this a lot as they are teenagers or young adults which is why they need a parent or other spiritual leader to remind them of truth.  What is truth?  Well, at some point gravity takes it's course -- body parts sag, and hair falls out and  no matter how well you preserve yourself things just aren't the same at 40 as they are 20.  At the end of the day they need a man or woman who walks with God.  Superficial things or people will NOT get them through!   I also want to raise my children to be strong and powerful men and women of God for their spouse and children.  I think about this all the time and pray about it often...oh God make them holy, and bring them someone who is likewise holy. 

I know this is bold but I tell my boys rather than looking for someone of a certain bra size they better be looking someone with a heart for God underneath that bra because a heart after God is what will get them through the difficult times.   Rather than look for a BOD, look for GOD and you will be truly satisfied.   The heart for God that your spouse has will also influence and shape your future children for God, which cannot be underestimated.  Do not think that if you and your partner fail to see eye to eye on spiritual things that it will just work itself out.   Oh that more people would think about their future husband or wife  as a potential mother or father of their children before marrying them!!!    I have known many people who desire to marry someone but would have to admit if they were honest that the person would not make a Godly mother or father who would raise children in the things of God.

There are so many Christians who have to endure painful situations in their lives as a result of poor marriage choices and this is one reason I fast and pray so hard for my children to make right choices in this area of their lives so they hopefully never have to go through it.  A word to the wise:  really think about these things and fast and pray before you get married!   (A lot!!)

I'll close today's blog post with one of my personal goals:

Proverbs 31:10-31

 "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.   She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.   She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.   She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.  She gets up while it is still dark;  She provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.   She sets about her work vigorously;  her arms are strong for her tasks.   She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.  In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.  She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.  When it snows, she has no fear for her household; or all of them are clothed in scarlet.  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.  Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.  She is clothed with strength and dignity;  she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."   Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.  Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

None of this happens by accident...only through prayer and perseverance.