Today I went in for a nail fill. It's been a while -- too long, but I just haven't had time or money dependent upon the day. It seemed every time there was a convenient time I wouldn't have the cash or vice versa. So today I grabbed 45 minutes when I had it. It was during a time I never normally go. I walked in the door and Lisa my nail lady said, "Deanna, it's been forever!" (Well, forever as nails go...) But before I could pick a color and get started, I glanced over and, who do I see in the pedicure chair but Marsha!!? And I ran over and hugged her and greeted her and she said, "hey, how are you?" and I told her the truth.
I do that.
I believe in telling the truth. We all say way too many, "how are you?" "I'm fine's" and don't really mean it. I believe God calls us to honesty even when it's a struggle to admit how we really are sometimes.
I came to a point years ago where I realized, your real friends or colleagues who are worth your time will stand by you even when you're down and if people don't they weren't worth your time anyway nor should you care if they respect you anymore if that's how they are. So I told her honestly, and she was so encouraging. It was clear exactly why I went when I did and how God arranged it.
After the fill, I came home and did a few hours work and then had to head down to Brandon to meet my friend Jennifer Lee for dinner. We had a meeting about Unstoppable but also to just bear our hearts and talk to one another for a few hours. Wow. I always feel totally different after we do that, and she tells me she does too. Sometimes you just want to talk without weighing all of your words. Oh the comfort.
We actually had a whole lot of time together because even after we were ready to go, a huge thunderstorm came and was so bad we couldn't leave, so we got our lattes, and moved to a couch area and just talked and stayed another hour or more until the storm passed by. We both left lighter-hearted than when we came in. God is good.
Well, I was driving home from Brandon and as I was in the quiet of the car driving home for 30 minutes I was praying and I said, "Ok Lord, I hope this is not too much to ask but it would really mean a lot to me right now if Rita Springer, "I have to Believe" would come on the radio. I just really need to hear that right now.
Would you believe literally 10 seconds later, the DJ said, "and right now folks, we've got Rita Springer coming up with a song we all love..."I have to believe..."
Amazing.
Coincidence? No, not in my book! Just as the song came on, the rain had totally cleared and all the cars around me had cleared away too and were either far behind me or far ahead of me, and I didn't even have to worry so much about traffic... could just drive without stress around me and enjoy the song and let it go deep inside and do it's work.
I am posting it for you here now to listen to...just let it sink into your spirit...let it fill you with faith and hope as it does me as I'm sitting here listening to it once again... this song more than any other describes exactly where I'm at right now... (lyrics posted below the video)
I have to believe that He sees my darkness
I have to believe He knows my pain
I have to lift up my hands to worship, worship His name
I have to declare that He is my refuge
I have to deny that I am alone
I have to lift up my eyes to the mountain, it's where my help comes from
Oh yeah He said that He's forever faithful
He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
if He can move mountains -- He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too...
Oh, I have to stand tall when the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong when I'm weak and afraid
I have to grab hold, ahold of the garments... the garments of praise.... I know, I know, I know
I have to sing praise when the hour is midnight
He unlocks these chains that bind up my soul
My sin and my shame, He has forgiven and made me whole
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cause
He said that He's forever faithful
And He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
He said that He can move mountains
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains -- He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too
I have to believe
I have to believe
He's got everything under control
I have to believeLord, I believe
Help my unbelief
I have to believe in You
I have to believe
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